Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
