yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
