If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
