I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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