Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
