the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
