I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize