I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize