Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize