he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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