Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
