the new term for farting is butt boxing.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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