need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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