when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
