I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
