You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
