i jhust puked up my retainher.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize