I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
