Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
