i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize