all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
