conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
this hospital has no fireball
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
