brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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