I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
