Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
