You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
