what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
