She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
