just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
