i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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