Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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