my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
