Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
