ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
...so i touched it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
