why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
