i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
be right there i have to get my cape
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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