its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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