Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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