i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
