She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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