I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
