so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Randomize
