Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
