I wish i was in the wii world.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
