come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
