So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I deserve this hangover.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize