you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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