it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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