Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
