It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
