Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
