You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
