bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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