Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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