Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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