I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
