Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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