so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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