it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
