I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize