so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
