Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
