the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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