i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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