i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
